Love...?

What is love? No, this isn't an intro to a truly overplayed song. That very question is one of the fundamental and philosophical questions of life. Love cannot be defined by any one explanation and honestly, I don't think there is any one answer. Love is a personal and individual experience for everyone.

I guess, to me, love is

• the smile that lingers on my face when we part ways. 
• the ease that I fall asleep when he's here just because I can hear him breathing next to me.
• the race in my heartbeat when I know see him the first time during the day.
• the way his smile makes my head spin.
• the fact that he's the only one who makes me feel beautiful.
• when we get drunk together and just laugh all night long.
• our 2am dinners and late night tv marathons.
• our inside jokes.
• the way I feel when I hear my phone going off, knowing that he's that he's thought of me enough to pop in and remind me that he loves me.
• how he always refers to me as his girlfriend, not just Emma.
• how he thinks of my very best friends as his too.
• that he makes my apartment seem so cozy instead of small and stuffy when I'm alone. 
• that he wants the best for me.
• that he's my own personal cheering section.
• that he would sacrifice the things he loves the most just to have a future with me

There's millions of other things that make love what it is to me. I guess I just feel lucky in having someone that makes me feel... whole. He's one of those people that just warm up your entire being. He is my sunshine.

Unfortunately, for every story of love, there are still more stories of heartache. Within the past week, I've heard two very different tales of woe; both are friends and both are people that don't have any clue what to do now. The amount of time that you invest into a relationship ties you closer to said significant other, and both of these people invested a lot into each of their relationships. 

Without going into too many details (for the sake of these friends) I'll simply state that from what I do know about the circumstances... my ideas of love have been shot down and burned to the ground.

From what seems like the perfect relationships, there are chances that it will end. The death of a strong relationship saddens me. I worry about my own; if theirs can end, so can mine. No one wants to think that way, but I can't help it. It just isn't fair and honestly, I'm taken aback. Time changes everything, but it's not supposed to change the amount of love you have for someone. 

Maybe I'm just scared of the future, that's always been one of my biggest fears. And all I keep waiting for is someone to assure me that things will be okay, but if I was so certain of those relationships before and I was wrong... could I be wrong about so many things in my own life. I'm afraid of failing already... I don't even want to consider what the future holds. 

I guess you never really know somebody as well as you think you do. 

I just hope that I have better luck.