The Things We Never Say

I cannot believe that that really happened. Honestly, I have no words. I just want to scream in your face and tell you what I really think of you, but I know it isn't my place. Just know, I'm done.

It's one of those weeks that felt like it would never end, and it just kept getting worse and worse. The cherry on top was some absolutely terrible news that I really cannot discuss. Lets just say that my trust has been shaken.

I am fascinated by society's inner workings; by how people react to one another, by the rankings and rating we label ourselves with, and just the interactions between people. I like to try to analyze why we do the things that we do, and most of the time I can read someone like a book. I rarely am mistaken, but this time I was far from the truth. It completely blows my mind how wrong I was. It also royally pisses me off that in the situation that mattered more than the rest, I failed to notice the small things that were a tattle-tale red flag. Hell, the entire situation is littered with them now that I can take a step back.

It makes me wonder how many other things I could be missing. Especially within my own life, I do not want to be wrong about anyone. I want to know people for who they really are and people are tricky, they love to wear masks.

I have a love-hate relationships with masks, in any sense. I feel like we hide under layers of them every day. Worst of all, I myself are an offender. Sometimes I'd love to be invisible, to not be judged by every person I come across. I'd love to just put on a mask and transform into something... beautiful, at least to society. I'm this nation's sad little underdog... a recent college-grad, living alone, working minimum wage job(s), spending very little money because I have none. I contribute little to this place, and sometimes I just feel like I'm not doing enough.

Getting by isn't enough, I guess.

"Without wearing any mask we are conscious of, we have a special face for each friend."